In LOVE...

Have you ever been in love...alone? I am a lover! a hopeless romantic with the most creative imagination ever...I am in love with life! I am in love with big fluffy cotton candy clouds tasting my spirit, I am in love with raindrops dancing on me naked and ocean tides massaging the SOULS of my feet. I am in love with the birth of sunrises and kissing sunsets good evening but never good bye because there is always another rhyme in time and I look forward to hearing the Angels sing sweet melodies in the trees while swaying to the rhythms of hope. I am in love with sharing fantasies and building dreams, creating tomorrows yesterdays memories. I am in love with love and look forward to the possibilities of dancing to the beat of love being in love with me too.

alone, loudly, silently...

Right now...I feel empty. Wanting to be full again...full of ambition, full of smiles, full of hope...full of love. Right now, I feel these walls are closing in on me, restless, unable to proceed because I am too tired. Tired of feeling empty. This room is empty. All I hear is the loud silence and a nearby trickle of the fish tank hoping it will drown out the fact that I am here alone. and I feel... alone. I am quickly reminded by my inner self that I am never alone and that we are in this together and we argue, loudly, silently. Battling forces inside of both dark versus light, I say that God has forsaken me, my inner self says I am a fool and I guess I blame my ego for being so bold as to think that I am bigger than faith. That I am to big to follow and try too hard to lead and this is where I feel I have been forgotten. As I step backwards into the shadows out of the way , and remain silent. The silence is empty, no heartbeat to pump oxygen, no air, for me to breathe. I am suffocating here loudly, silently. Clawing my way thru any crevice of life that I can grasp. Inhaling deeply to survive. Painting on a smile and afraid to exhale because my tears will tell all there is to tell, as they begin pour loudly, silently....Can anybody hear me?

Back again with my tablet and a pen...

Okay, well....it's more like a laptop and my fingers (smh) modern day technology has got the best of me, ...however, quite often I still prefer writing, as it does something to my soul, something soothing & relaxing,.... I find that while I am on the computer, I am easily distracted by social media which in all actuality has interfered or hindered really being social. but anyway what am I really talking about here?...Perhaps "Old habits die hard" or is it a meaning of something deeper? subliminal? somewhere hidden between the lines like The Matrix? I mean what was that all about anyway? I have watched this movie 3 times in addition to all of the sequels still seeking for more meaning and still catching things I may have previously missed every other time. I don't believe I will ever figure it all out completely and like life, perhaps that is what it is meant to be. Enjoying the newness of every moment, every lesson learned, every new adventure. In our American society, we want to put everything in a box, categorize it, label it, stereotype it. Why?...Why cant't everything just BE? why can't we just BE? When people say they are seeking a deeper meaning in life are they saying their life is meaningless? or have we just not realized our purpose and potential? We want more but yet, we are so much more but remain so shallow. We want big cars, big houses, big bank accounts and bigger boobs, when will we ever be completely satisfied? So no, this post isn't really about anything at all...or is it? it could be about everything...and every one.

Dumb down for love?

In regards to dating websites, I admit I've tried a couple and was very honest about who I am (outside of the entertainment life) I figure that can come in later discussion, I don't want to attract the wrong intentions. Anyway, one thing I notice is the men "out there" are still pretty much looking for "young hot thangs" it seems. Not very practical if they are expecting something meaningful to transpire, I am authentic in who I am , intelligent and some may say deep. Spirituality is key and very important to me, we must be able to communicate on a level of stimulation both spiritually and mentally that helps us both to grow. I have seen many friends end up with broken hearts, bank accounts depleted and a hatred form. And then can't figure out where they went wrong. I mean let's be honest really ladies and gentlemen, what exactly are you looking for when you are looking? That "dime piece"? (who by the way can't even cook) or "Mr. Rich and yet still wonderful"? Our society is purely motivated by looks and money, where is the spirituality at? Without spirituality you are doomed from the beginning. Don't get me wrong I have to be physically attracted just as much as the next person, but we must look deeper, see the soul,& feel the energy. How do they treat family? friends? animals? Are they selfish? rude? arrogant? Does their pictures display a personality of "it's all about me"? or perhaps every part on their body with nothing left to the imagination? There is a way to be sensual and sexy yet still tasteful. Perhaps if we took more pride in who we are as individuals we would realize that we deserve so much more than a quick fix of meaningless sex, which in some cases might be okay but in the end I believe we all really want someone to be respected and loved by unconditionally. I wasn't getting alot of action on the website I chose and my friend said maybe I should show a softer side of me, that because I am strong, and deep, it might be somewhat intimidating. I figure if a man is intimidated by my spirit he is definitely NOT the one for me and the right one will step up and help this Queen build the Kingdom.

Out of touch

My cipher upset, needing a reset as my mind winds round the concept of what's next? Thoughts run rampid but forced to sit still and still I yearn to burn the candle at both ends dimly lit asking for the light of what's right? I cannot see right before me... where the answers be. Why must I continue to ask instead of grasp the truth that I keep ignoring, feeling like life is constantly boring wanting more but filled with so much, why do I keep losing touch?

We plan...

We plan and then there is God's plan. Learning to surrender & trust completely is one of life's hardest tasks only because we make it so. "It could all be so simple but we choose to make it hard"

WisdomSOUL Wellness: WARM THE HOMELESS CAMPAIGN

OCT.24-Nov. 23 the night before Thanksgiving. Donations accepted for NEW SOCKS & SLEEPING BAGS. Delivery will be directly to the HOMELESS in the streets Thanksgiving morning. As many as 3.5 million people experience homelessness in agiven year (1% of the entire U.S. population or 10% of its poor), and about842,000 people in any given week. Familial composition, 40% are families withchildrenâ??the fastest growing segment.55% report having no health insurance, 23% are veterans. 1.37 million (Or 39%) of the total homeless population arechildren under the age of 18.

You have no idea!

I wonder what it would take, because YOU inspire me... http://youtu.be/-bqM5JniUHc

She's almost 16...

Unique, Extremely comfortable in her own skin, defiant and witty, quirky, and intelligent.
Sometimes too smart for her own good and plays dumb. Oh yes, she knows how to play.

Alot like me in so many ways, but hardly naive, so informed and intuned to the world surrounding. So open and free it scares me. What am I going to do with her?
 How will I mold her? I am still learning.

Spiritual Journey...

I am loving where I am in life, currently evolving, and traveling this new Spiritual journey...

I am waking earlier making the most out of this gift our creator has given me...Inhale, exhale...Life!

Cleansing body with a tall cup of lemon water , rejuvenating, so I may function clearly,
now... move into the mind, clearing, making way for the SOUL to expand and nurture.

2 miles in, breathe, stretch, meditate, listen.

Taking time to connect to where we have come from, remembering... reflecting.

I am at peace. Let the rest of my life begin!

Audience or Performer?

Why do we have problem holding our own selves back, become stuck in our mental, talking ourselves out of proceeding?...the fear of success? or is it the fear of failure?

Where does this fear come from? Afetr all it is just False Evidence Appearing Real. And why do we doubt ourselves?

We see people accomplish goals and achieve dreams all the time so what makes them so much better than us?  in reality, that may not exactly be the case. Others have just finally let go and went for what they know. I believe it's drive and passion for what we really desire, you gotta want it bad enough!

Get out of your head and feel with your heart, You can continue to sit back in the audience or take to the stage and shine? so, WHAT YOU GONNA DO?

Subliminal who?

Consistency is key right? I try to be as best as I can be...me.
So why does everyone always disappear? Get to close to the fire and you might get burned, but you'll learn; Love does not come lightly. I guess it takes a few minor burns to realize how to ignite whats right. Whatever am I speaking of? who knows? but like the smell of a freshly cut rose...
someone will know the scent that was sent...

My Camera...

I cant wait til my camera and I reunite, I let it cheat on me and I'm feeling so lost and forlorn, we've had such good times hanging out, loving the sun and watching gardens grow, Me and my camera were inseperable, sharing joys of new birth , capturing moments of  excitiment and making memories to last a lifetime. I have to forgive myself for letting my camera go, I'm longing to hold my camera again, caress it, embrace its creative beauty and love it more than ever before, Come home Camera, I need you!

Aware...of me.

Where am I right now?
Lost in my mind yet aware, held captive by my own hostage. Attempting to balance deranged and sane while floating in the atmoshere, I can't feel my feet here,
and my hands are tied, feeling like a part of me has died.
Fearful beyond fearless if that makes any kind of sense. My light shines from bright to dense,
I created this mess....I digress.
Closing myself in, shutting out the world and its noise, silencing self,
disappearing from reality as I become more aware of me,
hibernation mode, packing for the winter as I weigh heavier and heavier for protection,
solitary selection...but from who?...
from me! 
Aware but cant get free.
Pain streams tears of vanity, having all the answers but refuse to aknowledge sanity,
Drowning in a sea of  mixed emotions, sucked in deeper by the undercurrents spinning out of control,
feeling less than whole,
downward rapidly...I burden me.
Trying to swim from self but everywhere I go there I am
sinking in quicksand.
 Aware.

Answers come in the strangest ways...

I was writing a blog on my temporary navigators on my trip thru life, asking will I always be alone? or will there be a permanent navigator assigned to me to guide and direct me on the journey to final destination...I tried to post, it disappeared...I believe that sometimes we need to sit still and just listen... the answers come in the strangest ways...

Insight

I am learning more and more how God answers prayers. My momma use to always say, "Becareful what you ask for, you just might get it."  I prayed for God to help me become more in tune with the gift He has given me, this insight,or intuituition. Boy! was I ever asking for it?!

I am both anxious and excited, He allows me to see clearly, things I was so naive about so long ago I am well aware of now, I see it before it comes and clear it out of my path before it becomes an obstacle. Sometimes it hurts but in the long run it is much healthier. Thank you Father for being my ultimate caretaker!

Unconditional Acceptance

It is unfortunate that in this journey we will have to encounter darkness along the way, but I guess that is what helps us recognize and appreciate the light even more.
Learning to become more aware of our own actions and temperament.
Some dont even see their own darkness blinded too far to reach their light,consumed by this life, in so deep making them ignorant to their arrogance. All we can do is pray for their deliverance and our strength.

Our life is a gift, our outcome of where we end is determined by us and how well we utilize this gift, what we do with it, do we share it's blessing? do we love as we should by being the best we can be for He? (God)

There are those who will not understand our journey, they do not yet understand their own. Some seeds will be planted and take root growing fruitful while others will be washed away or carried off with the wind, but somehow, someway they will eventually land and reseed somewhere at sometime.

My best friends have been my best friends for 13 to 20 years, there is a reason for that!
Never a second guess, we never skip a beat, no matter time nor distance. I love them each dearly for loving me and accepting me...unconditionally.

My New Camera...

I'm pretty excited! I wanted a digital camera so bad. Walal!ask and you shall receive, my son bought me one for my birthday. And now...
My travel tools in around and out of town: My journal, my laptop, and my camera (with HD video recording) OH YEAH!

Above the Rim Basketball Charity Event

The spice in my life...

It's very exciting to find the people who are interested in my life, who step in to blend into the bowl of my mixture. I view it as that extra spice, a dash of richness that is appealing to my taste. Stirring, attempting to find just the right recipe to appease all so that you will come dine again and again...
I hope that when you leave from my table you feel satisfied , mind and spirit full.
I take pride in my dishes, I pray that you are fed properly and the word of my "soul food" spreads.
There is plenty to go around, you can have as much as you want... don't forget to share.